Friday, June 10, 2005

i've listened to you now you hear me out... you bring something nice to wear

Sometimes I really hate these new-fangled cellphones. On my old phone, if I left the keyguard off, the worst that could happen was I would pocket-dial some person that I no longer have any reason to call (group members from old projects, bible study co-leaders from 4 years ago, that friend of that ex that you had to call about those tickets for that thing that time), and then have to call them back and inform them that it was an accident and my upper extremities have no desire for any meaningful vocal contact.

Now I have a new fangled phone and when the keyguard is off, I order pictures of white bengal tigers. Was there ever an animal more iconically gay?

As you may have noticed, I'm not posting much. This is because I have realized, and ChrisA is still trying to grasp the fact, that I have the same day - every day. Class, lunch, study, dinner, study, bed. Not much to report on.

Actually, the only appreciable source of any variety in my life right now is the Bar review lecturer. As some of you know, it's a different professor for each subject, videotaped at the live Bar review section in Berkley, and broadcast to us a few days later. And because BarBri rolls deep, they get the best. In fact, some of the lecturers I've had were the authors of the casebooks for those subjects back in law school. And when you hear them lecture, they don't sound like people who should be writing casebooks.

Today we had George Whitebread. This guy has either authored or co-authored every book about criminal law since Exodus. I mean, he is the guy for Criminal Law. So you would think he would be a distinguished older gentelmen, wouldn't you?

Imagine Lewis Black teaching your Bar review class. "...and if YOU were to pick consent of the victim for an answer to THAT question, let me be the first to tell you that not only are you in trouble on the BAR EXAM, you're in trouble in LIFE. YOU will never own your own home!"

Before that we had Epstein. I loved Epstein. He is pure Texan... besides being Jewish, which archetypically, doesn't really jive with being Texan, but whatever. Other than that, he's basically a really nerdy Bill Davis. He is also by far the most pop culture aware professor of law or any other thing ever. His hypos involved such pertinent legal matters as Halo, Kinky Friedman, Lil John, Phish, John Ashcroft attending S&M parties, and Richard Conviser having his contract for "intimate plastic surgery" excused by frustration of purpose.

And that's all the entertainment I get for the day. Although tonight I get a break, because tonight I get to enjoy something that there is far too little of in California - people from Texas. There are like, seven people from Texas in California and the other five are in Fresno. You would think that to be an exaggeration, but considering some of the reactions I get from informing people of my homestate, you'd think I was from Narnia. But I digress... Anyway, the 9:30 interns that are assigned to PierPoint arrive this evening (two lovely young Christian ladies), and with Thad and Rhonda at a wedding rehearsal, that leaves Zatch and I to handle the babe duty, I mean... making them feel welcome.

I'm thinking we might take them to Fashion Island or the Block at Orange or some other touristy type place. I suppose that the HB pier would be the most obvious choice, it being so iconic to the city in which they'll be spending the summer. But downtown HB on the weekend nights can be kind of a whip. Once you've seen one overweight, half-naked, tattooed and pierced high school girl, you've seen 'em all.