Thursday, June 23, 2005

ask the 3rd floor aficionado, vol. ii

Dear 3rd Floor Aficionado,

What is the ideal cigar for a leisurely session of dog-walking?

Your devoted fan,
Leashed in Lancaster

Well, my ficticious yet nevertheless-oh-so-cleverly-named inquirer, I suppose that depends on what kind of canine you will be escorting during the recretional sashay currently at issue.

If you are like me, and you are currently entrusted with the care of a mutantesque half-terrier, half chihuahua, or any other similarly effeminate pooch, then only the manliest of cigars will do. I recommend the La Gloria Serie R No. 7, lovingly and aptly codenamed, "The Exhaust Pipe".

You may now promenade your girly dog around your hood in confidence. Because anyone who sees that you can smoke a La Gloria without slipping into a coma will assume that you are manly enough to catch bullets with your pecs, and they will not, as they say, step to you.