the return of newport's finest

This weekend was slightly on the odd side. And not just because of Sunday night's further affirmation of the Swinger's Rule, but mostly because of Saturday.

My Saturdays generally follow a consistent pattern. Sleep in a little. Rise about 9ish. Do some studying. Eat with Big Jer about 2ish. Study some more. And then move on to the evening's activities.

This past Saturday, I slept until noon. Unacceptable. So I made up for lost time by rolling into the living room to play Mortal Kombat: Deception. This game could not possibly have a more accurate title, since I was deceived into paying actual US currency to rent it. I thank my monotheistic deity of choice that I did not drop the cash to buy it, like I was tempted to for the past month.

It's exactly the same as the last Mortal Kombat game, with a few absurd additions that ostensibly justify its purchase. Ooo...I can be Ermac! Wowee. I'm just beside myself with excitement that they brought back some sucky secret character from Mortal Kombat 2. It's like I'm in 9th grade all over again. Ridiculous. And they brought back Nightwolf from Mortal Kombat 3! I'm sure the four people in the world who ever played as Nightwolf are just ecstatic. Of course, all the half-way decent characters are locked. So you have to unlock them. How do you go about doing that?

You have to play "Konquest" mode. Konquest mode makes me desire the intimate companionship of my own gender. It's worthless. Somehow, I don't think I'll be playing Konquest mode for eleventyhundred hours just so I can unlock Kenshi. Or I could play "Chess Kombat" or "Puzzle Kombat". Or I could throw rocks at myself. Or save the six bucks to have someone else do it for me.

So lunch with Big Jer proceeded as usual. Then I took a nap. A nap? I slept until noon, I'd been up for like four hours, and I decided that I needed a nap? So I slept until 6:10.

Then I went to work out. On a Saturday night. Super lame. Or super hard-core. I could argue for both. I then proceeded to do cardio for an hour and a half. Needless to say, (because I'm chubby) that's not something I do very often. But I did my standard twenty minutes, and then much to my elation, I discovered that Teen Titans and Justic League Unlimited were about to come on Cartoon Network. So with giddy delight, I reset the recumbent bike timer for 60 minutes. In case you're curious, Robin was convinced that Slade had come back from the dead to blow up the city, and then while the rest of the JLU was fighting Mongul, Booster Gold saved the universe from a black hole even though everyone thought he was Green Lantern.

And then ChrisA and I hit up the 82nd Street Rosa's. Which is odd because we both live on the complete other side of town. Not that the "other side" of Lubbock is some kind of ludicrous distance, but we live about five minutes from the 4th Street Rosa's. Then we ended up praying for the cashier because her cousin had gotten killed by a grenade while trying to free hostages in Yemen.

Sooo...apparently we have hostages in Yemen. I stay pretty current with the news, and I haven't heard anything about hostages in Yemen. I'll let you red-staters explain to me why President Gomer Pyle has been less-than-forthcoming with this situation. Or maybe she was wrong about Yemen. I tend to think that when your cousin gets blown up somewhere, you would remember where that somewhere was, but I know how you red-staters like to tell me I'm wrong. Not that you do a very good job of it.

And then ChrisA spilled all of our queso.

I think that the praying-for-the-cashier thing was supposed to be the raison d'etre of this post. But now I'm tired. So you'll just have to be satisfied with hearing about Ermac. Zzzzzzz.

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