Tuesday, November 29, 2005

cali got gun play, models on the runway

I have returned from my extended pilgrimage to God's Country. It was a time of bad news, good cigars, and great friends.

Indeed, as it happens, I did not pass the California Bar Exam. Ex-girlfriends rejoice. Out of 2000 possible points, a 1390 is needed to pass. I got a 1387.4283. I failed by 2.6 points. That stings. One more MBE question or 5 more points on an essay, and I'd be a lawyer.

When I first found out that I failed, I truly believed that I had botched the MBE, the multistate multiple choice portion of the exam. But today, upon returning to Kahlifoanya, I used a steak knife to open the envelope containing my score breakdown. I actually did very respectfully on the MBE. Going into the exam, I had a magic number that I hoped to obtain which, at the time, I thought was something in the manner of wishful thinking. I got four points higher than that magic number.

Unfortunately, I received a shockingly bad score on the California Community Property essay. It may sound like sour grapes, but I followed BarBri's methodology for this subject to the letter. I studied it rigorously, as I did for all of the subjects that focused specifically on California law. I got a very low grade. Lower than the grade for Essay #2, in which I know for sure that I missed at least two major issues (vertical and horizontal privity).

But, in the words of the great philosopher, "F**k it ,Dude... Let's go bowlilng."

But God is good, and I know that he didn't get me into law school, through law school, out of law school, and out to this goofy state only to let me rot in Bar Exam limbo. I still have complete peace that California is where I'm supposed to be and working in the law is what I'm supposed to do. If I have to take it twice or seven times, I'll keep after it until I pass or God directs me to something else. I'm not in any hurry. I'm living rent-free. Erstwhile, I've got idiot kids to straighten out and inner-city churches to fix up. So let us all raise our snifters and toast: To February!

As a consolation, I enjoyed a Fuente Fuente OpusX Perfecxion No. 2 Figurado that had been aged in the humidor for a year and a half. Remarkable when enjoyed on a brisk West Texas winter morning with empathetic company. I also partook in the joys of a Perfecxion No. 5, a La Gloria No. 7, and an Arturo Fuente 8-5-8. And for future Bar Exam passage celebrations, I stocked up on Padron Anniversaires, Arturo Fuente Double Chateaus, Hemingways, and of course, OpusXs.

The real tragedy is that I'd just gotten rid of 10 pounds of the 15 I gained over the summer. And the hair that I lost had grown back. Now it's back to being fat and bald. C'est la vie. Smoke 'em if you got 'em. Shake dem haterz.