for a minute there, i lost myself, i lost myself

"My thinking about this case has become very uptight"
- Jeffrey Lebowski

Ok, gotta chill out. Gotta put down the Evidence outlines, turn the lights down low, and snuggle up with the soothing blankness of the Blogger posting screen. And a comedically oversized mug of green tea.

I found the blog of a girl who is studying for/taking the July 2005 California Bar Exam. I thought it would be a good read, kindred spirits, birds of a feather, brothers in arms, that sort of thing. Nope. This page managed to evoke a complete flip-out in about 37 seconds of scrolling.

Normally, I'm a pretty chillaxed dude. It takes a lot to get me worried or "geekin' out". But I am now "geekin' out". Allow me to sum up how this complete stranger managed to do what 2.998 years of law school has been unable to accomplish:

1. Apparently, having to handwrite the Bar exam is the emotional equivalent of having the Bar examiners come to your house and shank you in the shower. The blog in question linked to another web page where a girl had written copious lamentations on her misfortune at being too late to sign up for a computer test. I signed up for handwriting by choice. I didn't think it was a big deal. It would seem that it is a big deal, and my future as a counselor of the law is pretty much over.

2. She's studying for the Bar already. Isn't that like, cheating? Geez, I still have three finals, all three of which should be quite difficult, and she's already studying for the Bar! I won't be able to start studying until BarBri starts, more than a month from now! Is everyone out there doing this? Which brings me to #3...

3. She's not just reading outlines or listening to the CDs, no no. She's making outlines of the CDs! Is that normal?

4. She's reading books about studying for the Bar exam. What? It's not enough that BarBri gives us over 40 pounds of study material, people have to buy more books about how to study all of it?

But perhaps she's just so wound-up about it because she has a job. Like, a job as an actual lawyer. A luxury which I have yet to be afforded. If she fails the Bar, people will actually care. If I fail it, I doubt that my co-workers at Del Taco will lose much sleep.