Saturday, May 07, 2005

and now it's time for... ask the 3rd floor aficionado

Dear 3rd Floor Aficionado,

Let's just say I "found" a Cuban cigar. Judging from the tube, it's probably from the early 90's. And since it's was in my dad's dresser, uh... I mean, an "unhumidified environment" for so long, it's all dried out. How should I go about restoring it?

Yours lovingly,
Yourself.


Well, Me. I'm glad I asked. If you happened to "find" a Cuban cigar while doing something like, oh I don't know, helping our dad look for his digitial camera all over the house, then I suppose you could just keep it. After all, the old man hasn't smoked 'em since that gum surgery he had back when we were in junior high, so it's not like it's doing him any good. Probably just tempting him. It's good that you took it off his hands.

But how to go about restoring it...

The absolute last thing you should do (besides eating it) is to do what I did. That would be putting it in your humidor in the hopes that the ideal clime will slowly acclimate the cigar back into the world of the smokeable. That will not work.

Apparently, dried up Cubans are like black holes of moisture and putting that cigar in your precious humidor will cause problems. In general, it might cause problems like, oh I don't know, maybe drying out 3 aged OpusX's, 1 Davidoff Double R, 2 Davidoff Millenium Series, a Fuente Hemingway, and assorted Avo's and CAO's. And you would probably have to re-season your humidor.

For me, it's a good thing Paige's sister works at a cigar store. My precious cargo is currently rehabilitating in the private lockers of the Havana Club. But you sound like you're a complete tool and probably don't have hook-ups like dat.