Wednesday, January 12, 2005

better late than never

After spending the last two weeks giving it some good solid thought, I have finally decided upon a nice set of New Year's Resolutions. That's right. You've already broken yours and I'm just now getting mine. That's what happens when you put some thought into it instead of picking the old cliches. Lose weight, start volunteering, kick the heroin. Boring.

Here's how I'm going to keep it live in '05:

1. Abruptly end small-talk before it becomes awkward. "So what classes are you taking? Cool, well I'll see you around." I've decided I'd rather look like a jerk than a desperate loser.

2. Change electric toothbrush heads more often. They say every 3 months. I've decided that's gross. That thing sits out in the most germ-conducive envirnoment in the house, and I stick it in my mouth 2-3 times a day for 3 months. From now on, 3 weeks. Max.

3. Desperately cling to my evaporating youth. Look, I have spikey hair and I wear blazers with jeans. I'm not 24, I'm young and hip! Love me!

4. Wear more green. This is one from last year, and since it was reasonably successful, I've decided to carry it over. '04 saw the acquisition of two green t-shirts, two green polos, a sweater, and a hat. For '05, I'm thinking wet suits and board shorts. The boxer selection could also use a splash of emerald.

5. ? I had one that was really awesome, but I forgot it.

That's it. I hope that you, my astoundingly attractive readers, will hold me accountable and stand beside me in this crucial time of personal growth.